Thursday, May 03, 2007

The music workshop: a collage.

Vagina experience sharing:

What does this word mean?
And in kerala?
Is there a word for vagina in Malayalam?
And what does this part of the body mean to you and me.

As we talk of it,

Someone tells us
How she does not believe
She exists below her face.

Someone shares her childhood concept of childbirth
Penis like a lizard’s tail
That goes into vagina
And turns to a child!

Someone lets us know
How she learned to masturbate at a very small age
And how she hated men
When she got to know their intention of touching her
Was purely sexual.

And periods.
Ooh. Bloody.
Still/ and hence pleasurable.

Sexuality, gender,…….and music/songs:

We know how the male song-writer has always stereotyped women
And to some extend men.

Its been so so dangerous for her…
As we walk down, we find.
Shy, well mannered, beautiful, white-skinned, ….
All she’s supposed to be.
And more, a slave to “her” man.

When we analyse and try writing differently,
We understand how successful they are
In making these images
“normal”
and how this normality penetrates even when we understand.
And when we write songs like
“Ella uduppum azhichittu..”
(I drop all that I wear
and I walk into the rain..)
we know this song is not acceptable for our own moralistic ears.

Have we made our space yet?
Have we created the audience just to HEAR what we are speaking of?

But then.
This is all we can do. Today.
Try creeping..
On to this tree and suck it dry…..

And so.
We make songs, on clitoris, on breasts,
On love and what not.
About 5 songs.

Lastly, Love…:

Love happened..
And so much………

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

In Malayalam u call vagina `yoni'
very sound
and sanskritised
It's her instinct that tells her to titillate the clitoris
And learn the basics of orgasm
And her man asks
"Do you..?"
And she shares.
He loves to see his woman doing it.

And, girl
It's not just climbing on the top of your house and shouting CLITORIS,
MASTURBATE
and VAGINA.

U need ur man to liberate u.
Somebody who loves ur sexuality
A man who celebrates ur being feminine, who respects

Masturbating ur clitoris till ur death is a pain;
or it would be a saddening pleasure

sudeep said...

1. Raping one's clitoris to death can also be pain.

2. What if the one who liberates her is not a man? I don't think the world would fall upside down if a woman or anyone else can liberate her!

3. What if one decides to settle for the freedom of being left to oneself, without needing anyone to rape her or liberate her?

Just some questions..

Anonymous said...

Hi Sudeep,
I admire ur genuine doubts.

A 30 year old man from Valanchery talking about clitoris and homosexuality is something all Keralites and non Keralites can look forward to;

Had I been a lesbian, or atleast a bisexual, then I would have been able to answer to
"What if the one who liberates her is not a man? I don't think the world would fall upside down if a woman or anyone else can liberate her!"
I beg ur pardon, my sexual orientation, unfortunately, is `straight,' in the Orkut way.

"What if one decides to settle for the freedom of being left to oneself, without needing anyone to rape her or liberate her?"
Sir, does somebody, whose activity includes `parenting,' really have the right to talk abt the loneliness of a woman?

Going by ideology may bring u a few applause.
Be compassionate, the realisation follows.
Again, reading Gigi as a man, as a woman and as an individual would be three different experiences.
I read Gigi as a `straight' woman, who share several of her thoughts.
I felt Gigi `personal,' and decided to comment.
It's just the `Politics of the personal'
I hate arguments, for I don't have anything to convince anybody.
Thanks Gigi, for the daring write up
Say bye

NB: Sudeep can read "Eleven Minutes" by Paulo Coelho. If u have read it already, I suggest read it again

mia said...

i am not here to argue on sudeeps or anonymous points.. i am here cos i find ur writings an atempt at being bold.. i find your thoughts genuine and your writings agreeable.

i can suggest a book to u tat falls along the same lines.. its called the vagina monologue. u can get it frm thomaskutty sir, malayalam dept, clt uni.

i quote frm it "Clitoris is pure in purpose. Its the only organ in the body designed for pleasure. it is a bundle of nerve fibers-8000, twice the number in penis. who needs a handgun when u have a semi automatic?"

freebird said...

gigi ! ur just confused :-)


There may be people who will address as a brave girl on seeing this post. But I think what uve written down is what every keralite women thinks.


Do u think the 'men' are in a better position ? Actually thats not the case. Our society maintains double standards. The young men (most with high paying job the pressure) are starving of love, sex and companionship. Probably the men in 40's are happier because they get chances to visit prostitutes and satisfy their desires by other means.

What you have written speaks about the general state of the society.

I will have to do ROFL if come and call me anti-feminist or so. Please don't do it. :-)

freebird said...

correction:

(most with high paying job the pressure)

to

(most of them with high paying jobs and the corporate work pressure)

NIKHIL NARENDRAN said...

its the thought of being born as a women in kerala, its frustrating for any thinking women,her being the machine for enjoyment, with the world more in to materialist commidification, where vagina is a commodity,
vagina is a symbol, it has been a constant point of reception,
its the true discrimination of nature, its time we switch the roles, can t happen

sudeep said...

To anonymous: Thanks for trying to figure out so much about me. Now let me add my bit.

"A 30 year old man from Valanchery talking about clitoris and homosexuality is something all Keralites and non Keralites can look forward to" --

I don't understand that a bit. Could you please elaborate?

"Had I been a lesbian, or atleast a bisexual, then I would have been able to answer to.."

Dear, to understand others, you don't need to be them. Understanding and respecting differences, be it in culture, in religious beliefs, in sexual orientation or in ways of looking at life, is not as difficult as you make it out to be. I have friends who are lesbian and bisexual, and that question of mine comes from the feelings that they share with me as a friend.

Same goes with the next one: "Sir, does somebody, whose activity includes `parenting,' really have the right to talk abt the loneliness of a woman?"
(in reply to my question "What if one decides to settle for the freedom of being left to oneself, without needing anyone to rape her or liberate her?")

One my friend (a Malayalee, in case you have doubts) who has opted for this freedom says that her mother says that "if I could go back in time and make a choice, I would have chosen to stay alone. Not that I am not happy in the marriage, but there are a lot of things I missed in my life because of that. Now when I see you, I envy you, my daughter. But I didn't have a choice."

Let us not fix our ideas on what a woman (or anyone else) would enjoy and what one would not. When one makes a choice, why can't we allow them to live that choice with dignity? Do we have to impose us on everyone else around us?

Yes, my activities include parenting. And if my partner decides to live alone or live with a woman partner, I wouldn't have a problem with that.

I understand that you hate arguments. I wish you did not start one in the first place.

I haven't read that book, if I find it I will try to.

sudeep said...

freebird, I agree with you. Men are as much victims of the social system. They grow up not only sexually starved, but also emotionally weak, unable to even cook for themselves.. They are brought up so that they can not live without a woman slave.

freebird said...

>They are brought up so that they can not live without a woman slave.

"Men in kerala are brought up so that they cannot live without a female slave."

dialouge kollam.

Anonymous said...

W.E.B.DU BOIS
# The Song Of The Smoke

I am the smoke king,
I am black.
I am swinging in the sky.
I am ringing worlds on high:
I am the thought of the throbbing mills,
I am the soul of the soul toil kills,
I am the ripple of reading rills,

Up I'm curling from the sod,
I am whirling home to God.
I am the smoke king,
I am black.

Dileep said...

"Yes, my activities include parenting. And if my partner decides to live alone or live with a woman partner, I wouldn't have a problem with that."

There you are, succumbing to the pressure to be politically correct.
After all why should one decide to respond to such questions? Just because one is speaking against the commonsense? This reminded me of the popular response to Nalini Jameela's act of writing autobiography. Everybody asked her a logical question. 'what if your daughter opts sexwork?' Logic is not life and following the same logic, nobody will ask such a question if she had a son...
When partner decide to live alone....let one's response be reserved for that real time [ if at all] We should allow at least that much of uncertainty in our lives

sudeep said...

dileep,

There you are, succumbing to the pressure to be politically correct. After all why should one decide to respond to such questions?

Each of us would have our own reasons why we do what we do and why not what we don't. Here, I thought when someone asks me "when you have parenting as your activity.." or "when you are heterosexual..", I thought it was important to explain why I thought me being a parent or heterosexual did not matter, why I think someone who is heterosexual can respect someone who is not.

True, if everyone thought on my lines, I wouldn't have had to explain. But the comment suggested that it is not so.

I am trying to use this space (and other possible spaces) to open up some communication, especially with those who may be different from me. I may have been lucky to have certain previleges and certain experiences, and I may have lost out on certain other things.

"Logic is not life"

I don't quite understand that.. expecially when attached to a line like

"and following the same logic, nobody will ask such a question if she had a son..."

That means there's some logic in life, isn't it?

When partner decide to live alone.... let one's response be reserved for that real time [ if at all] We should allow at least that much of uncertainty in our lives

How do you know if is real or not, or if I am uncertain about it? I don't think it really matters if it is real or not, and I say that with a certainty. If you think it is "succumbing to the pressure to be politically correct", there is a chance that you are judging others with your prejudices. I hope you are not.

Dileep said...

Sudeep,

Once you decide to make smethng 'personal' into political, I have nothing against it. What I felt from the course of the discussion was that this turn was a bit coercive wherein
somebody shifted the discussion away from soe relevant criticism you raised...
Anyway, there is no ideal speach situation.. I am not an admirer of that as well...

Still, a proposition in the hypothetical form "If.... Then "
continue to bother me [ Now I am
speaking from within the parameters of the discussion]..Could such
a hypothetical [performative] assurance be principle of a relationship? Is it the assumption of a democratic relationship? Is that what trust amount to?